San Andreas * * 1/2
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This film must have cost more money to make than any film in history: I mean they virtually wiped San Francisco off the map. The bridge, and every iconic building in that city go down the gurgler. Unless of course, it was all done with CGI…. Ah! that’d be it! CGI - cinema’s greatest gift and worst enemy.
The San Andreas fault is no secret. It’s been hanging around for a million years. Some seismologists say that one day it’s going to open up. In this film, today is the day. I hope on the actual day it’s not as bad as this. And I further hope that the authorities act with a greater sense of public duty than Ray (Dwayne Johnson) whose basic premise seems to be “bugger everyone else, I’m looking after my own”. (And we’re supposed to cheer this bloke on?). I suppose it is understandable, but he should be working, and he is using a police helicopter. He should be told “Ray, use your own transport on your own time”.
When the big quake hits his ex is having lunch with Kylie Minogue who is playing a role that is not her usual warm self but she is soon disposed of along with thousands of others. Ex or not, Ray turns his chopper around from official Police duty to go get Emma and rescue her as skyscrapers collapse around them like dominoes. Then they decide to go rescue Blake their teenage daughter, who we find has teamed up with a couple of English lads.
In the meantime chaos continues with buildings falling down, bridges collapsing and eventually a huge tsunami rolling into San Francisco bay. A whole American city wiped out. It’s a lot of fun! I’m sure this film will do very well with those Jihad enthusiasts from other lands.
Aside from Ray hunting for his family San Andreas offers up another story. Brilliant seismologist Dr Lawrence Hayes (Paul Giamatti) predicts the outcomes (the collapse of the Hoover dam was a good clue). He then describes what is happening to a news team trapped in the same building as him. Interestingly they still have power and internet.
Love blossoms among all this chaos (of course!) Ray and Emma get the hots for each other again in their search for their daughter. Blake falls for the older English lad (he speaks with an accent more extreme than the Royal family). And the seismologist and news reporter get flirtatious with each other too.
It’s all as silly as it sounds. They try to make you care about these cardboard cut-out characters but ultimately the real stars are the CGI team. This is a film you go to for the visually spectacular, and on that level it won’t disappoint you. Go see it in a modern cinema with the big screen and the rumbling speakers and you’ll have an entertaining couple of hours.
The San Andreas fault is no secret. It’s been hanging around for a million years. Some seismologists say that one day it’s going to open up. In this film, today is the day. I hope on the actual day it’s not as bad as this. And I further hope that the authorities act with a greater sense of public duty than Ray (Dwayne Johnson) whose basic premise seems to be “bugger everyone else, I’m looking after my own”. (And we’re supposed to cheer this bloke on?). I suppose it is understandable, but he should be working, and he is using a police helicopter. He should be told “Ray, use your own transport on your own time”.
When the big quake hits his ex is having lunch with Kylie Minogue who is playing a role that is not her usual warm self but she is soon disposed of along with thousands of others. Ex or not, Ray turns his chopper around from official Police duty to go get Emma and rescue her as skyscrapers collapse around them like dominoes. Then they decide to go rescue Blake their teenage daughter, who we find has teamed up with a couple of English lads.
In the meantime chaos continues with buildings falling down, bridges collapsing and eventually a huge tsunami rolling into San Francisco bay. A whole American city wiped out. It’s a lot of fun! I’m sure this film will do very well with those Jihad enthusiasts from other lands.
Aside from Ray hunting for his family San Andreas offers up another story. Brilliant seismologist Dr Lawrence Hayes (Paul Giamatti) predicts the outcomes (the collapse of the Hoover dam was a good clue). He then describes what is happening to a news team trapped in the same building as him. Interestingly they still have power and internet.
Love blossoms among all this chaos (of course!) Ray and Emma get the hots for each other again in their search for their daughter. Blake falls for the older English lad (he speaks with an accent more extreme than the Royal family). And the seismologist and news reporter get flirtatious with each other too.
It’s all as silly as it sounds. They try to make you care about these cardboard cut-out characters but ultimately the real stars are the CGI team. This is a film you go to for the visually spectacular, and on that level it won’t disappoint you. Go see it in a modern cinema with the big screen and the rumbling speakers and you’ll have an entertaining couple of hours.
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