Moonfall * *

What a missed opportunity!  How could anyone come up with a concept so utterly stupid, a story so peurile, a script so immature, a concept so ridiculous and bugger it up by asking us to take it seriously?

It should be playing it for laughs all the way through.  And it should also be a lot, lot shorter.

In this remarkable film we learn that the moon is not what you think it is - and no, it's not made of cheese - don't be silly!  And there isn't a man in the moon either, but there is something very sinister.  The moon is just a skin. Inside the moon there is all this other mechanical stuff going on.  It's complicated, rather like a huge gyroscope, but in Moonfall it is not only explained to you in detail,  but you get to see it. Marvellous!

Wisely, the astronauts listen as
the conspiracy theorist speaks.

Oh and another thing.  The evolution of humans is not what you think it is. We got here by another means.

The smart people in this film are the conspiracy theorists.  They already had all this shit figured out. They were way in front of every astronomer, biologist, naturalist, paleontologist, archeaologist and scientist.  

Moonfall shows them not only to be right, but also shows them as typical deadbeats and crackpots with repellent personalities. So next time you see some unwashed crazy person babbling on how Covid 19 vaccines are a plot to turn us all into zombies, you might be wise to listen. Don't judge a book by it's cover! 

The conspiracy theorists were right. The moon is going out of orbit, it moving closer and closer to the earth, bits and pieces will fall off the moon and hit the earth.  Tidal waves, earthquakes, mayhem and destruction - and worse of all, panic buying at the supermarket.  Once again we get to see it all.  So good!  Somehow, television, the internet, and everyone's mobile phone, keeps working through all this.

In the end a disgraced astronaut, a retired lady astronaut and a conspiracy theorist fly to the moon in an old space shuttle, running on two of its three engines, to get things fixed, whilst back on earth their disjointed families resolve their personal  issues and repair their relationships with apologies, straight talking, hugs, and tears.

Pros: Brilliant special effects of chaos. A nice preview of the new Lexus NX350 

Cons: This film exists.