Spectre * * *

Only James Bond could get away with this.  That might sound like I’m stating the obvious, but I’m not just talking about the stuff James Bond does - drive fast cars with extraordinary precision, seduce beautiful women in minutes, fly helicopters and planes, beat the crap out of villains all whilst wearing Savile Row suits; what I mean is that it’s all so ridiculous and predictable that only the James Bond Brand could do it and get away with it.  

I was sitting in the cinema  thinking. You know, if this wasn’t a James Bond film I'd have walked out by now.  If it was anyone else on the screen other than Bond you’d lose patience after twenty minutes. But because it’s a new James Bond film you forgive all its indiscretions as it chugs along.  And James Bond films do chug along.  The car chases and fights might be fast but a James Bond story always seems to be slow and verbose in its telling.

There are very few surprises in these tick-the-box monolithic productions; and I don’t know that the audience want surprises. I don’t.  I expect Bond to be Bond.  Personally I feel the revealing of his childhood and relationship with his parents and other family members and guardians in this, and the previous Bond film, were more than I’d want to know. It struck me as an attempt by the producers to have the audience build a more understanding relationship with Bond. But after fifty years it’s a bit late for that. No, just leave him mysterious and aloof to the effects of his past please.  Yes, we know he has a licence to kill and will use it and that’s the way we like him. We don’t want to know if it troubles him or what’s wrong with his brain so that he can beat a man to death and make tender love to a woman all within the same hour. Don’t need explanations thanks. He’s just Bond, James Bond.

So, in this latest production we get to the heart of his nemesis - spectre - and the boss of every other villain that has plagued Bond. This time the villain is ably played by Christoph Waltz. If I told you he has a plan to dominate the world it wouldn’t surprise you I’m sure.  Nor that Bond is the man to thwart his plans.

It’s the usual array of exotic locations from Mexico, to Rome to Tunisia, Austria, and London of course: lots of London.

Monica Bellucci plays a small part at the beginning as a gangsters lonely widow and proves that Bond can be mature enough to appreciate a mature woman (for a while): then it’s back to the classic (half his age) Bond girl, this time played by Lea Seydoux who last impressed us as a hot young lesbian in Blue is the Warmest Colour.  An interesting new role for her.

Bond is once again played by Daniel Craig who does a good job, though like all the previous Bonds, he must be getting tired of playing such a restrictive role.

The most iconic of all Bond cars is the Aston Martin DB5, first used in Goldfinger.  (It has been sentimentally resurrected in the previous Bond film and this one).  I recently learnt that this fifty year old classic is actually a horror to drive. It’s an appropriate symbol for the Bond enterprise. Despite all it’s faults you're still happy to get on board for a ride.